the XYZs of love

If you're reading this blog, chances are, you're out to get that girl, and you want some help. I admit that I'm in no way a pro with regards to matters of the heart. I just think there are a lot of things teenagers (I've seen older) misunderstand or take for granted when dealing with love, and I want to say something about it. 

I'm a guy, and obviously, I'm going to explain from a guy's perspective. I don't mean to offend anyone with the things I'm going to write. If you disagree with the things that I say, I'm perfectly fine with that. Criticism is good, but please don't be an ass about it.

What is love? This question boggles my mind--and heck, boggles yours. People have come understand it differently, and there a lot of stances out there with regards to its definition. For me, any attempt to define it is definitely too biased for my liking. I guess it's just one of those words that you understand, but you can't really explain.

I do believe, however, that love has many different types, although I don't want to be too technical and talk about eros, philos and agape. I want to keep this entry simple.

I want to focus on the idea of "falling in love." It's something that we often mix up with the love of our parents--which is obviously different. Falling in love is the fad that never dies down. We just can't seem to keep our hormones in check. It's the miracle drug that you keep coming back for more. As empirical as I can get, I've never encountered a formula for love. I've never been successful in making my own. In short, I can't teach you how to get that girl you've been liking all this time. I can't tell you what to do.

I can tell you, however, what not to do.

First, don't stalk the person. It's creepy--as simple as that.

Second, don't start believing everything you think--like how you obviously like the same stuff or how much you complement each other so well--chances are, you're making it up.

Third, don't act like you're already together. It's normal to be jealous if you see that person with another guy, but do so in a normal manner. Don't do anything crazy like acting all defensive and possessive. She's human like you, respect her.

Fourth, don't just think about your needs--think about hers. Ok, this one sounds off. Let me explain. Chances are, she doesn't see you the same way you see her. She doesn't feel the need to text you as often as you text her. She doesn't feel the need to reply to every e-mail/text/facebook mail/etc that you send her--especially the ones that are not even questions. Place yourself in her shoes. Try to evaluate your actions.

Fifth, don't act like she's your wife. Contrary to your popular belief, she's not. Greeting her goodnight is ok. Anything beyond that might be a bit too much. Caring for her is good--acting like her husband is not.

The list goes on. I think you get the point. Be what you used to be. Don't try to be someone your not. Don't sacrifice your individuality. Salvage what dignity you have left if you've tried the things I mentioned and got turned down for it.

Ok, so I lied. There are some things that you can do. BE HER FRIEND. Good job Captain Obvious. Yes, be her friend. The reason why you reached this point of the entry is probably because you have utterly failed in your quest for love. You have tried all means necessary to get that girl. You have tried every trick in the book.

But she might just be that different type of girl. Let me tell you, you would want to start out as friends. You would want to have something to stand on. Give her a chance to know who you really are. Who knows? You just might be a happier person with that person as a friend.

I just ran out of creative juice. Feel free to comment:D

the first of many blogs to come